Debra Zeit

Author: GiantMelanie  //  Category: Ethiopia

Last night I turned inside out.  Not pleasant.  Couldn’t even keep down sips of water.  So today, I’ve lived on bananas and biscuit cookie/cracker thingies.  And Ambo.  God bless Ambo, the uber-bubbley beverage here that’s like seltzer.

We drove to Debra Zeit and I watched everyone else eat a yummy looking fancy buffet while I sipped Ambo.  The Kuriftu Diplomatic Resort sits on a dormant volcanic crater lake, and it’s beautiful.  It was so nice to get out of Addis for a few hours.  We laid on big loungey beds in the sun and kayaked in the lake.  On the way back, we stopped and got fresh honey on the honey comb.  So yummy!  Alex and I went straight to the room and have been snoozing ever since. 

I am READY to come home.  I miss my Elliott so much!

Saying Goodbye and Orphanges

Author: GiantMelanie  //  Category: Adoption, Baby Dale, Ethiopia, Orphan

Well, before I get to my day today, I have to mention that last night I got pulled up onstage AGAIN to dance at dinner.  I may be the silliest looking Ethiopian dancer ever.  I must have “sucker” written all over my face.  So now we have not one, but TWO hilarious videos of me entertaining the Ethiopians with my ridiculous dancing.  Ha-ha, you know I love being ridiculous.

So…this morning we visited ESD for the last time.  I’m emotionally and physically exhausted, so I’m not sure I can write a lot about it.  She WALKED over to us, holding the caregiver’s hand (Sorry, Elliott.  Your sister wins for who walked first!).  She sat down in the caregiver’s lap and I reached out my hand to her and she took it!  I played with Miss B on my lap and hugged and kissed her, and then another girl.  At this point ESD was standing and a boy knocked her over.  She started crying – what a pouty lip! – and then the caregiver swooped her up and handed her to me!  Which made her cry more, of course!  The nanny sent me into the garden with her, grabbed a rose blossom off a bush for her, and I spent the next few minutes giving her the rose and trying to calm her.  She finally calmed down and seemed content, so I brought her back into the room. 

These visits are crazy hard.  As much as I want to bond with my daughter, I can’t let that happen.  I can’t be another person who leaves her. So I want to love on her and connect with her, but I have to stay disciplined enough to respect her connection to her caregivers and the kids in her room.  It’s not my time yet.  So we went back into the room and I got to feed her snack, bread mixed with formula.  I sat next to her and Alex made her LAUGH as he tickled other kids.

When her food was done (She’s a slow eater like me!), the nanny gave me a bottle for her, and again, I wanted to cradle her in my arms but instead I sat next to her and rubbed her back while she drank.  Time was up and the tidal wave of sobbing started to creep up my throat.  I kissed her on the top of her head, told her “I love you.  God loves you.  I’ll be back.”  And then the sobs started to come out and I got out before she could see me fall apart.  I made Alex get right in the car and we sped off without talking to the other couples or anything.  I just had to get out of there before I fell apart.  I found out later that the sweet nanny felt so bad that she brought my daughter out to the street to see me one last time.  It was probably good that I had left.  I didn’t want her to feel unsafe, that something was wrong. 

We went to Makush, an art gallery that also has really good pizza, and were met by some friends.  Alex and I have left the huge wall going up the stairs in our house blank for 3 1/2 years now, just waiting for the right things to fill it.  Today, we found them!  This is really embarrassing to admit, but we bought, ahem, four paintings.  They’re all of beautiful Ethiopian women, they’re very modern, with Amharic letters in the hair and eyes.  I’ll post pics after we get them restretched and hung on the wall.  The gallery owner came up to me and said, “Are you here for adoption?”  I said yes, hesitantly, and he said, “I know you hear a lot of negative things on the street about Americans adopting our children, but I think it’s a really good thing that you’re doing.  I give adoptive parents a discount.  It’s my way of contributing to your adoption.”  I burst out into tears again and hugged him…and bought four paintings.  He asked about ESD, how old and where she’s from.  I told him, and he gave me a candle from her region, with markings on it for the Orthodox church of her region.  So sweet.  So if you’re going to Addis and love art, you have to visit Makush.  If you want the gallery owner’s contact info, let me know.

After that we visited the three government orphanages in Addis.  First Kolfe, the teenage boys, where Alex played soccer with some of the kids and I had a conversation with a boy in the 9th grade getting ready to take his entrance exams or state exams or something important – sounded like the SATs.  He explained that in Ethiopia, high school is in English, so it’s like taking ALL of your classes in a foreign language!  And they have 9 subjects.  He said it’s very hard, much harder than in America, and I think he might be right!

Next we visited Kebebe Tsehai again, and I couldn’t help but hold sweet little Biruk again.  I miss him already!!  Then we visted Kechene for teenage girls, and saw the beautiful grounds there.  I rubbed a few girls’ backs.  One girl kept closing her eyes and smiling.  Yep, back rubs are the best.  Another girl came over with her friend and tried to explain in halting English that her friend’s entire family is dead.  She’s from the same region as my daughter, and she’s very sad because she’s all alone.  She doesn’t go to school, but I couldn’t figure out why.  Anyway, the girl asked if I would take her friend back to America with me so she could have a family.  Broken heart breaking more.  I wish I could give the girl a family, either here in Ethiopia or absolutely, come home with me and join my high school girls’ group!  Mmm, I wish the world wasn’t so complicated.  I wish kids who need families could just have families. 

Getting so sleepy…back to hotel, watched tsunami news on Al Jezeera, met Stef Boster and her BEMM team at Island Breeze and listened to their exciting exploits from the week.  Ha-ha, I feel boring next to them!  It was so wonderful to see her again, and seriously, if you want to help birth moms in Ethiopia KEEP their babies and PREVENT orphans from happening, check out Because Every Mother Matters on the web.  Normally I’d hyperlink that, but I’m falling asleep as I type.  Ciao.

HopeChest and Kebebe Tsihay

Author: GiantMelanie  //  Category: Children's HopeChest, Ethiopia, Orphan

This morning we met up with our new friends Julie and John, from Encinitas, and we visited the Children’s HopeChest office.  It wa so much fun to meet the Ethiopian team and see where they work.  Working primarily with the Uganda branch of the ministry, we were unfamiliar with the Ethiopian side, but as we love allll things HopeChest, we were so blessed to meet the team!

After that, we drove to Kebebe Tsihay, one of the three government orphanages in Addis, and we played with babies.  One sweet boy named Biruk fell asleep in my arms and we stared into each others’ eyes for a long time.  I sang him “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands” over and over, and I told Him how special he is.  I told him, “Biruk, God loves you so much, He made You, and Jesus wants to be your friend.  Don’t you forget it.”  He cooed at me and sucked on my necklaces.  I wished that I had 8 more arms to hold more babies at a time. 

We grabbed a yummy lunch then headed to the Holy Trinity Orthodox Church for a tour.  I’ve said it over and over, but I. LOVE. ETHIOPIA.  Wow.  It was fascinating to hear the importance of the church in Ethiopian culture, and to hear about biblical figures from the Ethiopian perspective.  We saw the tomb of the soldiers killed by the Derg (sp? I’m  not a great historian and am looking forward to doing some research when I get home into Ethiopian history.  I thought I had a handle on it, but I have a bunch of things screwed up in my head that I need to sort out in order to be a good Ethiopian mama.).

When we were in the museum at the Entoto church, we saw a gold medal from the 2000 Summer Olympics on display.  From what I gathered, the runners come to the church up there to be blessed before competing, and the winners bring their medals to the church as an offering to God, in thanks.  How much do you love that?

Oh, okay, so I figured out today (again, not a historian!) that the palace that we toured on Entoto earlier this week was the old palace, and then it was moved to the church we toured today.  We saw Haile Salassie’s seat in the church, and many pictures of him and his wife.

I just love it here.  I’m exhausted and I miss Elliott so much it hurts, but I’m so grateful to be here.  The Ethiopian people are a treasure to this planet.  Tonight, we’re going to another cultural dinner with everyone, seeing more dancing.  Maybe this time I won’t have to get up on stage.

Court and Korah

Author: GiantMelanie  //  Category: Adoption, Ethiopia, Extreme Poverty, Korah

This morning anxiety overwhelmed me and I was overcome with emotion.  I didn’t know what to expect at court and the enormity of the situation felt crushing.  We met everyone at the Gladney office, they talked us through how it would work, and then we left for court.  Up many flights of stairs packed with Ethi0pians, our winding chain of Americans filed.  We waited for awhile and then they called us in groups.  When it was our turn, they called out our daughter’s name.  My heart beat at the sound of it – our turn, our daughter!  Our group sat down in the judge’s office and answered a series of questions.  I loved getting to declare my commitment to my daughter in a court of law!  Yes!  I want her!  Yes!  I want her for always!  Yes yes yes!!!

The red tape is still firmly in place, so our file is pending…please keep up those prayers.  After court, we met some of the others, as well as Yemamu and Sisay, for burgers, fries, and Cokes, then Yemamu, Sisay, Alex, me, Becky, and Mark headed back to Korah.

Korah.  Lord, give me the words, because I lack the ability to form the compelling sentences that my heart wants to share.  First, we visited the Alert Hospital, where those with leprosy, TB, and AIDS can come for treatment.  Africa’s only leprosy hospital, and once people come, after treatment, they tend to stay.

We watched gifted artisans spin cotton into thread, weave, embroider, knit, crochet.  I know the ache of one’s fingers, arms, and back after a long day of knitting and sewing…and these women and men work all day, every day, many of them without fingers.  They all make what they can.  If they have fingers, they do one thing, if they have part of a finger, they do something else, and if they’re missing their whole hand, then they turn a crank with the stub of their arm.  I watched women with no fingers knit scarves with the stumps on their hands.  One woman was working on a brown scarf.  I sat down next to her and Yemamu translated and we learned that it takes her two months to knit one scarf, because she’s missing all of her fingers.  For that scarf, she is paid 9 birr (about 50 cents).  For two months labor.  And yet she does it.  Each day.  And she was smiling.

After visiting with the craftspeople and buying some of their beautiful items at the gift shop, we headed through Korah and into the dump.  We could see the smoke billowing up into the sky from far away, and we walked closer and closer, stopping to shake hands with children and greet everyone with “selamno.”

We followed Yemamu and Sisay into the dump.  My first thought was that it looked like a post-apocalyptic world, like a movie set for the next big summer blockbuster.  But it was real.  We stepped through broken glass and plastic bags, large bones of animals, dirty diapers, bottles, cans, batteries leaking acid, rotting food.  Layers and layers.  Someone had dug a deep hole looking for metal to scavange and the layers of trash went as far as I could see, down down down, smoke pouring through the fissures in the strata.

And there were people.  Hundreds of them.  People like Busana, who received treatment at the hospital and now lives in Korah, foraging for metals in the dump that she can sell, her 1 1/2-year-old child on her back and her husband nearby searching in the dump.

As we were walking, the smoke filled our lungs, and the smell of rotting diapers, food, and animals filled my nose and lungs.  I dry heaved over and over and prayed for the strength to keep walking, to keep asking questions, to keep shaking hands and hearing stories.  We saw homes made of plastic tarp where 25 men squeeze in at night to sleep as the hyenas prowl outside.  We saw litters of puppies, dogs with matted fur, pigs, and goats.  One man was roasting a pig and it looked like he was using the smoke from the dump itself to cook it.  A group of young men found a carryout container of raw chicken wings and said, “Let’s eat!”  They huddled around it and everyone dug in hungrily.  Yemamu showed us what people eat – coffee creamer packets discarded from Ethiopian Airlines, packets of cooking oil, leftover water in plastic bottles.  He explained that many people die by drinking the wrong thing or eating something bad.  The food at the dump could come from a restaurant…or it could come from the hospital and be mixed with infected blood.  The water could be clean water, or it could be chemicals.  They take that chance every time they eat.  Their clothes come from the dump, and they could be clothes from a patient who died at the hospital, covered in blood. 

Each day is a battle to stay alive, and the resilience of the human spirit is remarkable in this place.  The older boys take care of the younger ones who have been orphaned.  We saw women collecting plastic bags to turn in for money.  Garbage trucks came in and out, pouring more and more refuse onto the smoking heap.  Hundreds of people gathered around the new piles in search of food and metals.  The smoke was so thick that we couldn’t see very far in front of us.

In the middle of the dump, the garbage stretched as far as I could see in each direction.  We trekked back to the edge, then headed back through Korah, stopping at Sisay’s home and watching his mother make injera.

Back at the center, we met with Yemamu and Sisay to discuss the website, getting scholarships for the kids for school, supplies, uniforms, and food.  Some of the kids at the dump have tried to go to school, but they’re so hungry that they can’t focus.  There is such a social stigma for the people of Korah that people won’t allow them in taxis or buses because they smell.

Now we smell.  Our clothes smell.  After two showers, my skin still smells of ashes and rotting garbage.  And just as we’ve taken on the smell, we’ve also taken on the burden of knowledge.  We’ve seen it.  We’ve smelled it.  And now we’re responsible. 

I cannot be another rich person who visits, takes photos of the poor people, pities them, and moves on.  I cannot be merely a voyeur to their plight.  I am responsible.

And so I write.  Mark is working on Yemamu’s logo.  Alex is working on the website.  Becky is using her photography skills.  I…well…all I know to do is try to give these people a voice.  If I can use our adoption story as a catalyst to get people to read about Korah and rise up to provide scholarships for some of the kids, then that’s what I’ll do!  

I wasn’t on a movie set today!  It’s real!  It’s terrible!  They need us to help!  Once the website’s up and running, I’ll let everybody know where it is.  For now, pray for the people of Korah.  Pray for Yemamu and Sisay, two kids from Korah who bring hope to their community by the grace of God.

Cultural Dinner and Dancing!

Author: GiantMelanie  //  Category: Baby Dale, Ethiopia

Hmmm…I might be married to another man.  Tonight we went to an Ethiopian cultural restaurant, had delicious food, and watched dancers perform dances from the different regions of Ethiopia.  We videoed the dance from our daughter’s region!  And at the end…the dancers pulled me up onstage and had me perform the part of the bride in a traditional marriage dance, complete with me riding out of the restaurant on a man’s back.  Alex got the whole thing on video, so don’t worry, we’ll probably post it here so you all can laugh at me.

I’ve fallen in love with Ethiopia on paper, through research, reading, talking with people, seeing pictures.  Today, I fell in love with it in person.  The people are incredible, open and welcoming and such zest for life.  The history of this country is fascinating, the culture rich and beautiful.  The people could all be models they are so gorgeous.  The Ethiopian Orthodox church is beautiful.  I am so honored and privileged to get to be part of it.  I can’t believe that we, our family, gets to bring Ethiopian culture into our home, that we get to share in this history and culture.  What an honor.  I’m blown away that God could bless us this much.

I forgot to mention earlier something else about meeting ESD.  You know, our hair could not be more different – mine’s straight and oily, and hers is tightly curled and dry.  This morning we explored each other’s hair a bit.  The nanny kept taking my long hair and wrapping it around ESD’s hand and fingers for her to feel.  She seemed fascinated with Mommy’s long locks!  And I tenderly played with the adorable puff balls all over her head.  They’re fuzzy and bouncy and beautiful!  It was fun to have a “hair moment” with my girl.

Tomorrow’s court.  We go at 11am Ethiopian time, so if you’re up in the middle of the night, say a prayer for us!