Baby Slash, I’m freaking out inside because I think that very soon you’ll have a name and gender other than “Slash!”  The wait times for a referral have stayed the same this month, which means that we might know who you are any time between now and my birthday.  What an incredible birthday present you’d make, sweet baby.  And I’ve been referring to you as “he” and “him” more and more, so if you’re a girl, oh Slash, kiddo, Mommy is in for a gigantic surprise.  So, it’s all becoming real, my thoughts of you are shifting from general baby daydreams to specific musings about your health, your personality, your looks.  Are you sick?  I mean, anything from really sick to I wish I could clear up that ringworm for you right now.  Are you laid back or totally hyper?  Are you a wiggler or do you kinda just chill and stare out a window, lost in baby thoughts?  Do you sleep a lot or do you fight the glorious naptime?  Are you going to love me instantly, or are you going to break my heart for awhile until I’m allowed to cuddle you?  I have never seen an Ethiopian who wasn’t GORGEOUS, so I know you’ll be beautiful, but how so?  What do all your beautiful features look like together?  Who are you?!?!  My tummy does flip flops when I think about how close I might be to finding out.  I’ve always loved mysteries, and here’s the biggest mystery of all.  Who is my child?!?!  I’m going to jump every time the phone rings until I get THE call, the life-changer.  Whoosh.  Daddy’s going out tomorrow to buy a tripod so we can video ourselves when we see your face for the first time.  You know, since you don’t get to see our faces at the same time that we see yours, we want you to be able to see what we looked like.  I’m an ugly crier, so prepare yourself, Slash, it won’t be pretty.

Hey, so I wish I could prepare you for this, but I can’t, so God, please prepare Slash’s little baby heart!  We are going to get to meet you, but then we’re going to have to leave you.  BUT WE’LL BE BACK!!!  Please don’t hate us for this.  Please, please, please forgive us for leaving you.  It’s all an important part of the process of becoming your family forever.  There IS a forever at the end of all this waiting and meeting and leaving.  The ugly-crying white lady and the white dude with the scruffy beard WILL come back for you.  You can count on it, little one.

Ugh, waiting stinks.  Some days I’m fine and other days I’m ready to crawl up a wall or under a blanket with a fluffy pillow to squeeze.  I’m having a hard time focusing right now, so I’m making a list of everything that I have to look forward to in the next couple of months.  This will likely be very boring for everyone else but me.

1. Trip to Memphis to meet Lindsey and Le, Ruta, and Alazar.  So slobbering excited about that.  We’re doing the Mojo Music Bus Tour and staying right on Beale Street.  I love the blues, and I loooovvve Lindsey and fam, who I feel like are our counterparts in Oklahoma City.  Can’t wait to talk sponsorship coordinators, Uganda, Ethiopia, adoption, and do some major laughing and celebrating, all while listening to killer music and eating barbeque.

2. The final batch of Adacar profiles should arrive any day now.  I keep checking the mail to see if they’ve come.  I’m just really excited to get all the kids sponsored.  Right now I have a ton of people to follow up with, but slowly I’m seeing my database of kids be filled with sponsors’ names.  Still a lot of blank ones, but people are slowly getting their payments set up.  And we’re making progress on the CarePoint.  More about that when I have concrete info.

3. HopeChest’s partner conference followed by the Together for Adoption conference.  I’m so excited to have quality face-to-face and hugging time with the Warrior Girls and to get to see Joseph (Uganda country director) again.  And to meet more and more and more adoptive parents.  Honestly, I’m meeting so many adoptive parents these days that it almost seems weird to me when I meet a family with all biological kids.  “Like, really?  You made all of these and they all look like you?  Weird!”  Ha!

4. Back to school!  I know, it’s cruel and unusual for me to look forward to that, but I abhor summer and all things shorts and sweating.  I love getting all my high school girls back on a regular basis, cooler weather, layering clothing, and being able to take Elliott to the park without getting a third degree burn.  Fall frolicking is around the corner, and as the leaves die, I start to live.  And one of my favorite things in fall is Vertical Reality, the fall retreat with the high school students.  I can’t wait to spend a whole weekend away with them.  We’ll have so much to talk about, starting high school and all.  I wouldn’t repeat that for a million dollars, but I love walking this road with them.

5. A referral?  Fall should mean we get to “meet” our little one, at least on paper.  I’m so excited to find out boy or girl, and hopefully that knowledge will give me lots to dream of and work on through the winter until we finally get to go.  In the meantime, I am happy to report that we’ve found a delicious Ethiopian restaurant in Atlanta (Thank you, Beattys!!), and I’ll be making lots of trips there to soak up the culture and shovel in the food.  As some of you know, Alex and I tried Ethiopian food years ago in Georgetown and it was terrible!  I love almost every kind of food on the planet, so I’ve just been sick about it (both literally for 24 hours after and figuratively).  I’ve been praying for God to allow me to love it, because both Ethiopia and food are such huge parts of my family.  Anyway, one bite at Queen of Sheba last week and we realized that Ethiopian food is DELICIOUS!  Our first experience in Georgetown must’ve just been BAD Ethiopian food, just like I’ve had bad American food.  Queen of Sheba was good, good, good, oh so good, and Elliott adored it, too, rising on his knees over the big family-style plate and scooping up the food with injera.

Okay, that’s enough anticipation for one post.  And just typing it all out has elevated me from my waiting funk and reminded me of what’s to come.  I also want to balance all the things to come with the things of NOW, because I don’t want to live in the future.  The now is good and is not to be wasted.  The now is digging into God, spending time with friends, kissing my husband, building really tall Lego towers with Elliott, helping unite sponsors with kids in Adacar, wearing my cute Sseko sandals (maybe the one benefit of summer weather in Georgia), and spending precious minutes with my parents.  Two of my close friends lost their parents last week, and I’m reminded that life is fleeting, there are no guarantees, and I want to enjoy every minute.  So, this post is kind of rambly, but I think I just blogged myself into a really hopeful and positive mood.

Hey, Baby Slash.  Mommy’s been busy hopping planes and holding orphans, watching God unite kiddos with sponsor families.  It’s been amazing.  I love being part of God’s plan for these kids.   I get to be the one who holds up the big neon sign saying, “Look at how awesome my God is!”  I love being a sign-holder for God.  He’s done some pretty neon-praiseworthy things lately.

This week, as I’ve waved my awesome-God sign and seen my orphan profile packets dwindle to 17 lonely teenagers in need of sponsors (only 17 more!), my thoughts have fluttered over to you more and more.  It’s hard for me to think about you too much right now.  I can help hundreds and hundreds of orphans, but I can’t help you right now, MY orphan.  My Slash, who is an orphan right now but won’t be soon cuz Mommy.  Is.  Coming.  To.  Get.  You.  Oh, I wish it was tomorrow.  I wish it was today.  I just want to hold you hold you hold you forever and I want forever to start now!  Slash!  I miss you, buddy.  I miss you and I haven’t even met you yet.  Yesterday Elliott said that he thinks you’re a baby sister.  I think you’re a baby brother.  I can’t wait to find out what you are.  Last week I watched girls make beaded necklaces and then yesterday I bought girly clothes for your new cousin who’ll be about your age, and I wanted you to be a GIRL!  But then last week I watched two brothers play ball together and yesterday I watched Elliott swim with the boys, and I wanted you to be a BOY!  Pretty much I’m excited about you no matter what you are.  Whatever you are, you’re going to fit into my family, your family, our family.  We’ve been 3 for 3 years now.  I want to be 4…and then if God wants to double or triple that number, I’m all for it, as long as they’re not all toddlers at the same time. 

Slash, okay, I’m just going to be really real with you right now, Mommy has tears in her eyes thinking about you.  I’ve held babies in Africa now.  Baby Slash, some of them are sick.  Their hair is bleached light with malnutrition and their eyes are sickly yellow and some of them have malaria and are anemic and need nutrients.  Oh buddy, is your hair too light?  Are your eyes yellow?   Do you have malaria?  Do you have a parasite or ringworm or a rumbly, hungry belly?  Do you need Mommy to kiss it and make it better?  I want to take you to Publix and get you a cookie while we wait for your antibiotics that’ll kill all the bugs living in you.  I want to fatten you up with Chick-fil-A chocolate milkshakes with some Juice Plus gummies on the side for good measure.  Slash, please hold on.  I am coming for you.  I’m going to make you yummy smoothies, and full disclosure, I hide spinach in my smoothies, so prepare to receive nutrients on the sly, sweet child.

I just put Elliott to bed.  Someday soon, you’ll sleep in the room right next to his.  Daddy and I will read you both stories and brush your teeth and pray with you.  This month, Elliott and I have been thanking God for making him.  “Thanks, God, for making Elliott’s laugh.  Thanks, God, for making Elliott’s blue eyes….”  I’m thanking God for making you, too, and I can’t wait to thank Him together.  Thanks, God, for making Slash’s big brown eyes.  Thanks, God, for making Slash’s sweet smile.  Thanks, God, for making Slash’s curly hair…Thanks, God, for making Slash for our family.

We are on our way to Adecar (pronounced Adachar by the locals). This community has the most needs of any we’ve visited so far. We are excited to see George, our sponsored child, as well as the whole community, which we now count as our extended family.

At the other care points that we’ve visited so far there have been about 100 kids. In Adecar, we have close to 400. Many of the needs are clear in the eyes of the kids, which are yellow from malnutrition. It doesn’t seem to dampen their spirits or their smiles though.

I play soccer for a while. The kids laugh at me as they kick the ball through my legs. Each child wants to challenge me to a one-on-one or a sprint. A teenager turns to me and asks that I take him to America. “Where?” I ask. “Anywhere is fine,” he replies. My heart hurts a little.

I sweat through my shirt and decide to rest and paint nails for a while. All of the kids (male and female) want their fingernails painted. One child has 6 fingers and seems shy about holding out her hand. Megan pulls up her hand, smiles and paints all six nails like nothing’s wrong. The child smiles back.

We find George. He’s trying to hide from us. Scared of the mazungos (white people), I guess. Some teens — thinking that they are helping — spank George to get him to speak to us. We run to stop them. I hold out a lollipop, and George stops crying. Candy — the international language. I tell him that I’m his sponsor and ask if it’s ok to hold him. The woman holding his hand translates. He nods his heads and walks into my arms. He weighs about the same as my own son. He rests his head on my shoulder and sucks on his lollipop. We stay that way for a while.

Lunch is served. I marvel at how hard the women work to cook for hundreds of children. I’m exhausted watching them. George hops down from my arms and runs to the front of the line. Sadly, we run out of meat for the kids. It’s the one day of the week that they get meat. With the money we’ve raised for the trip, we’re able to buy 1600 kilos of posho, which will last for a little while.

Worried about the rain, Joseph hurries Melanie and I off to visit Bosco, our sponsored child in Ngarium (they are expecting us the next day, but the roads are impassable in the rain). We arrive to see the community planning a banquet to honor us for helping to save Bosco’s infected leg. (Last year, we helped Bosco get surgery to keep him from dieing from an infected leg wound.) Unfortunately, we won‘t be able to participate in the banquet, since we are a day early, but we are able to sit with Bosco and his family along with other community members. Melanie gives Bosco a Kentucky shirt and his mother a dress and then shows Bosco photos of our family back in the U.S. as Joseph translates the captions.

And now I’m back in bed wishing I could have done more for Bosco today, but knowing that we will see each other again. Tomorrow is our last day in Adecar … the last community we will visit for our trip to Africa. I’m sad. Well, it’s time for me to go to sleep. Some animal (sounds like a lion or a pack of wild dogs) is howling outside the back gate, and bats are having some kind of mating ritual in the open attic above our hotel room. Do mosquito nets keep out bats?!

I was catching up on other people’s blogs and saw where someone mentioned something about her adoption process.  Oh yeah.  That’s one of the reasons I have this blog, to keep the people I love informed about our adoption process.  My bad.  Okay, so about a week and a half ago, the Ethiopian government changed it’s law about court (It’s allowed!  I’m just grateful that my beloved Ethiopia is accepting of international adoptions, so I’m not going to complain about the way it chooses to handle them!).  We had signed over power of attorney to our agency’s in country staff to go to court for us, but now we’ll need to appear in court, and then come back 3-6 weeks later to take our child home.

Pros:

1. Two trips to Ethiopia!

2. Getting to meet our baby sooner than expected!

3. Two chances to fill our suitcases with humanitarian aid and visit Children’s HopeChest carepoints!

Cons:

1. Double the travel costs

2. The worst one…having my baby in my arms, being legally his/her mommy, and having to hand him/her back to the nanny and get on a plane!

So anyway, sorry I failed to mention the big adoption update.  The update is – more time in Africa.  We knew getting into this that adoption is a crazy world involving big faith.  God’s in charge and will unite us with Baby Slash in His perfect timing.  Whew!  I just felt my faith get bigger.  It felt good!