My favorite story from the day is of one of my Adacar sponsor moms who called me asking if there was still time to give.  Her daughter had accidentally hit a button on the computer which caused my blog to pop up.  This sponsor mom read about what we were doing and thought, “Oh, I wish we could help, but we don’t have any extra right now.”  The mail arrived, and there was a surprise $500 check from a grandmother.  She immediately thought of the kids in India!  When I thanked this sponsor mom for choosing to spend her gift money on school fees for a child she’d never met, she answered, “How could I not?”  Wow!  I LOVE that!!  She had such joy and excitement in her voice, and that’s just it.  When we choose to give, not only does the recipient feel blessed, but so do we!  We are filled with joy and exuberance, and it’s such a fulfilling act of worship to God, who gives so generously to us.  Last Wednesday was such a special day.  I loved asking BIG and seeing my God respond even BIGGER.

I remember all those years that I begged and begged God to be a mother, to watch Alex be a father.  I am so grateful for Elliott.  And I’m so grateful that God chose to answer my begs in a way that I never saw coming.  What a privilege to spend the day celebrating my incredible husband, my brother, also an awesome father, and my dad, the most amazing role model a girl could have and the most loving and compassionate and godly man on the planet.  I am so blessed to have these men in my life, and I’m so blessed to have them in the life of my son.  Tonight I’m filled with equal parts joy for the father in my life and anguish for the millions of kids without daddies to hold them.  I’m so in love with the Father to the fatherless. 

God, in this broken world filled with hurting kids, be enough for them tonight.  Show them how much You love them.  Fill their hearts with God-powered Daddy-love.

Then last week, something shifted inside of me.  My sense of purpose returned.  I am here to advocate for these kids, to be their voice.  I don’t get to love them with my hugs right now, but I do get to love them by telling their stories, sharing their pictures.  I love them by letting God use me to find them sponsor families.  Right now, it’s enough.  It’s what it needs to be. 

So, I started out as woo-hoo girl, an extremely excited warrior ready to beat back the forces of darkness and beat down poverty with my enthusiasm.  Then I saw said poverty and lost my woo and hoo for awhile.  Warrior Girl had to freak out and numb out and figure out.  Now, my woo-hoo is bigger than ever, my convictions stronger than ever before.  Armed with stories that I’ve seen with my own eyes and smelled with my own nose and felt with my own fingers and toes, I am reentering the battle fully submitted to the only Warrior powerful enough to love these kids unconditionally, save these kids from destruction, and call each one tenderly by name.  My God, the Rock of my salvation.  Where I am weak and self-serving, He is strong and boundless in His love.  He does not take M&M breaks (Not that there’s anything wrong with that….).

Not hurting my joy-mood in the least:  Joseph just Facebooked me this about Bosco: “I found Bosco playing soccer and running around with other boys, I mean big boys!”  Um, how much does our God love?  Bosco, who wasn’t going to live.  Bosco, who wasn’t going to keep his leg.  Bosco, who’s prognosis was doubtful.  Bosco, an orphan in a picture-the-most-remote-place-you-can-and-go-further village in Africa with gangrene taking over half his leg a few short months ago is PLAYING SOCCER!!!  My God can do ANYTHING.

Joy:  I fought back tears of joy as the kids greeted us with a song and beckoned us into the church.  The people here worship with their whole bodies, and I love it.  Songs dissolve into everyone praying separate prayers out loud, arms outstretched to the Lord, someone speaks, then more dancing and singing and drumming.  Though we worship in different languages, we praise the same living God and our worship together is powerful.  We introduced ourselves, and Martin shared a message about the joy of the Lord.  Sarah followed with songs, and the Holy Spirit so clearly spoke through Martin and sang through Sarah, because even though they didn’t discuss what they were going to do, the sermon and songs lined up perfectly as if they’d had a production meeting beforehand!

Sorrow:  As I spent time with the kids, I noticed many who were sick.  Yellow eyes and light hair from malnutrition, scars, sores.  The sponsored kids are identified because they are the most vulnerable ones in the community.  I feel a heaviness and trepidation, because Greg said tonight that the further north we go, the more malnutrition and famine we’ll see.  The men have moved south where there are jobs, so the farther north we go, the fewer men we see.  Guess what’s farther north?  Yep.  Adecar.  Oh dear Jesus, can it get worse?  Adecar has triple the orphans that we saw today.  Tonight my heart is filled with Nabukalu and our time there, but my love and concern for Adecar is brimming near the surface, ready to well up.  I’m not ready.  I never will be.  Please God, fill me with Your Spirit, because I am broken and at a loss for words or deeds without You.

Happiness:  Today we passed out beads and elastic string and the kids made necklaces.  In my head, I was picturing quiet craft time with the girls while the boys played soccer.  Wow, so not how it played out.  All the boys wanted in on the fun, so it was CRA-ZY!  It was so cute to the see the kids walking around with their bead necklaces, painted nails (yep, the boys, too!), and pillowcase dresses (just the girls J) that Megan made.  My overdeveloped sense of fairness wanted everything to be equal, but it was impossible to keep track of who had what.  We did our best, and I just have to let it go. 

Frustration:  I’m learning a lot about dealing with hordes of children desperate for affection and attention and any trinket that I have.  I made a lot of mistakes today and hope to do better tomorrow.  I just want to freely give things away, but when we’re dealing with this many kids, we have to have ORDER!  I vow to be more orderly tomorrow.  Straight lines, one at a time, like they do for lunch.

Contentment:  After the chaotic giveaway time, I wandered around and helped some of the girls with their necklaces.  I loved stringing beads and tying them around their necks.  They craved the attention and seemed to understand the word “beautiful.”  I told each one how beautiful she was.  It’s true.  Such beautiful children of God.  I sat down on a bench, drew one girl onto my lap, and put my arms around as many as possible.  I’m such a toucher.  At home, this freaks a lot of people out.  Here, these sweet children crave affection.  They want to hold hands, hug, and sit close next to me.  Visiting them isn’t just about what treats I hand out or what games we play.  I provide them with something so much greater, something they desperately need.  My physical presence.  Money and food meet their physical needs, but my actual person, wrapping my arms around them, rubbing their backs, holding their hands, drawing them close, meets a deep spiritual need.  It’s unquantifiable, but urgent.  Some people have challenged me that I can do more good by sending the money it takes for this trip rather than going myself.  After spending time with these kids, I can now say that they are wrong.  The kids don’t just need my money.  They need me.  And I need them.  I need them so badly.  Holding them makes my soul sing.  The sound of our bus rumbling to life when it’s time to leave has become my least favorite sound.  No one wants to leave.  The kids crowd in for one last touch, one last smile.  They reach their hands up to us like we reach our hands up to God, craving the touch from our Father.

First, here’s an incredible look at what’s happening in Moldova.  http://www.hopechest.org/sex_cafe-in-moldova/

Are you as pissed off as I am?  Then here’s how you can help.  http://www.hopechest.org/support-moldova/

Are you overwhelmed with the $400/MONTH price to help one person?  It’s a lot.  Think about getting together with a group of friends, maybe a Mom’s Club, Sunday school class, office, small group, neighborhood.  I’m getting together with my fellow Warrior Girls (We need satin jackets with our names embroidered on the backs, don’t you think?) to sponsor one victim.  If 16 people get together, that’s $25/month.  A huge group of people are CAUSING this problem, so we need a huge group of people to FIX it.  But just one person can start making a difference…and that could be you!  Start asking people to co-sponsor a girl with you. 

Here’s one more fabulous way to help restore the lives of orphans and trafficking victims, and it involves buying really pretty jewelry.  http://www.adoptionfathers.com/2010/04/11/supportyoungmothers/  The necklaces are made by JunkPosse, which, next to the paper bead necklaces made by Ugandan widows, is my favorite jewelry maker.  A great Mother’s Day gift!

After talking about Frannie Channie’s Crazy Love chapter 8 in group last night (I’m not sure how he’d feel about my nickname for him.), I’m thinking a ton today about how this life is temporary.  My home is temporary.  My family is temporary.  My stuff is temporary.  I love my life and my home and definitely adore my family and I like my stuff…but what am I doing in my life for the kingdom of God, the forever, ETERNAL kingdom of God?  I want to hold everything up to that standard. 

Today, I’m comfortable.  Life is good.  Life is easy.  I have a house with a decent roof and too much food in the fridge.  It’s easy to focus on this temporary world.  It’s easy for me to get distracted.  I like this temporary world too much.

For other people, this world is a nightmare.  Today, boys are stolen and forced to fight and kill.  Girls vanish and end up in sexual slavery.  Babies cry for food they’re never going to get.  Children suffer from illnesses that they can’t prevent and they can’t treat.  Mothers and fathers lie in huts waiting to die.  And on and on and on and on and my prayer today is that they would know that this world is temporary.  That our God has a better place, with no pain, and it’s waiting for them.  That He is preparing rooms for them in His house.  This life here on earth is temporary.  Jesus experienced their suffering; He conquered pain and death.  Their pain here is temporary.  I pray that the hurting victims of this world would reach out to Jesus and be filled with the peace that comes from knowing that this isn’t all there is.  There’s so much more.  And the last will be first and the meek will inherit the earth and things will be so incredibly good.  I pray that they would feel comfort.

I’m praying that today each person would take the next step.  If you’re not sponsoring a child, do it!  Increase your family!  Be a mommy or daddy for another child who needs you!  If you’re already sponsoring a child, sit down today and write to your child.  Breathe words of truth and love, life-giving words to a lonely child who needs to hear them.  Don’t worry about whether or not you’ve heard from your child.  I don’t love my son based on what he gives me.  Thankfully, God doesn’t love me based on what I give Him.  Today, I’ll write Bosco and George because I love them and they are a part of my family. 

Maybe it’s becoming a sponsor (Contact me if it is!), maybe it’s writing to your sponsored child, maybe it’s a child on your street that needs encouragement, or a child in your daughter’s class.  Today, DON’T HORDE YOUR PARENTING!  The more I extend the borders of my family, the more I want to open up.  I don’t want to limit my mommying to my biological child, or even to my future adopted children.  I want to share my mom-ness, my mom-oscity with kids who need me, to Bosco in Ngarium, to George in Adecar, and to all the kids living in Adecar and Uganda.  I want to take the love and nurturing that God has given me and share it with any child who needs it.  Being a mother is the greatest gift imaginable.  I never take it for granted.  What a privilege to parent!  And I cannot in good conscience take the gift that’s been given to me and hide it in my house.

Some might say that there’s only so much room in your heart and schedule.  Better to stick with the kids you have.  Your own child will suffer if you open up to too many others.  I don’t think that’s true!  The more I love, well, the more I love.  The more I love Elliott, the more my love expands and I have more and more and more love to extend to others.  God is love, and He’s the source of all love, and He doesn’t run out!  The more I love, the fuller I feel, the more love spills out of me. 

I have a stack of sweet kids right here on my desk who need to hear that someone cares about them, that God the Father loves them.  So today, expand the borders of your family.  Don’t horde your parenting!

So, pour me out, God!  Let me be a part of Your redemptive plan for these kids and for my community.  I just want to work, and I’ll leave EVERYTHING up to You.  For You, by You, because of You.  Wheee!  That’s freedom.

During the call, one of my sweet friends referred to Adecar as “our village.”  Ours!  Not “Melanie’s” village, not “that” village, but “ours.”  Wow.  It’s happening.  The people around me really are seeing these orphans, this village, as ours.  Our people.  Our kids.  I LOVE IT!  We get to help them and be part of their lives, and slowly people are joining this Adecar family who will bring hope to those who need it most.  I love that almost everytime I go somewhere now, someone in the room is an Adecar sponsor or in the process of becoming one.

I still have a huge stack of sponsorless orphans sitting next to my desk.  Today Elliott picked up Josephine and brought her to me.  Her dad’s dead, her mom’s sick and is a peasant, and she has seven siblings.  She’s eleven.  If she lived here she’d be in fifth grade, dance and sing in Upstreet every Sunday morning, have a small group leader, maybe play soccer or take piano lessons.  In Adecar, she’s most likely taking care of her siblings, walking for miles to get water, going hungry many days in a row, and sleeping in a mud hut with her entire family.  I can’t even comprehend it.

So, imagine how exciting it is for me to hear one of my friends talk about “our village.”  I’m no longer carrying this burden alone.  I’m no longer the sole advocate for these kids.  Now other people know, and other people care, too.  Sitting around my kitchen table with my book club talking about Scared…oh my goodness.  These friends who I love connected with Adanna’s story, they saw through her eyes, and we got to talk about it.  They willingly entered into the pain of her world.  And I’m excited to see what God’s going to do with that pain.  He’s transformed my life through the pain of others, when I finally worked up the courage to take a look.

Getting to talk about Africa and orphans with my friends and NOT feeling like a freak felt so good!  Watching my Adecar family grow also feels amazing.  Tonight I’m feeling hopeful.  I often tell God, “Um, I have a pile of orphans next to me and no earthly idea how to find sponsors for them.  I need a heavenly idea, please!”  It’s too big for me, but God moves the hearts and minds of all of us, so I’m trusting that He’ll move some this way!