Ugh, waiting stinks.  Some days I’m fine and other days I’m ready to crawl up a wall or under a blanket with a fluffy pillow to squeeze.  I’m having a hard time focusing right now, so I’m making a list of everything that I have to look forward to in the next couple of months.  This will likely be very boring for everyone else but me.

1. Trip to Memphis to meet Lindsey and Le, Ruta, and Alazar.  So slobbering excited about that.  We’re doing the Mojo Music Bus Tour and staying right on Beale Street.  I love the blues, and I loooovvve Lindsey and fam, who I feel like are our counterparts in Oklahoma City.  Can’t wait to talk sponsorship coordinators, Uganda, Ethiopia, adoption, and do some major laughing and celebrating, all while listening to killer music and eating barbeque.

2. The final batch of Adacar profiles should arrive any day now.  I keep checking the mail to see if they’ve come.  I’m just really excited to get all the kids sponsored.  Right now I have a ton of people to follow up with, but slowly I’m seeing my database of kids be filled with sponsors’ names.  Still a lot of blank ones, but people are slowly getting their payments set up.  And we’re making progress on the CarePoint.  More about that when I have concrete info.

3. HopeChest’s partner conference followed by the Together for Adoption conference.  I’m so excited to have quality face-to-face and hugging time with the Warrior Girls and to get to see Joseph (Uganda country director) again.  And to meet more and more and more adoptive parents.  Honestly, I’m meeting so many adoptive parents these days that it almost seems weird to me when I meet a family with all biological kids.  “Like, really?  You made all of these and they all look like you?  Weird!”  Ha!

4. Back to school!  I know, it’s cruel and unusual for me to look forward to that, but I abhor summer and all things shorts and sweating.  I love getting all my high school girls back on a regular basis, cooler weather, layering clothing, and being able to take Elliott to the park without getting a third degree burn.  Fall frolicking is around the corner, and as the leaves die, I start to live.  And one of my favorite things in fall is Vertical Reality, the fall retreat with the high school students.  I can’t wait to spend a whole weekend away with them.  We’ll have so much to talk about, starting high school and all.  I wouldn’t repeat that for a million dollars, but I love walking this road with them.

5. A referral?  Fall should mean we get to “meet” our little one, at least on paper.  I’m so excited to find out boy or girl, and hopefully that knowledge will give me lots to dream of and work on through the winter until we finally get to go.  In the meantime, I am happy to report that we’ve found a delicious Ethiopian restaurant in Atlanta (Thank you, Beattys!!), and I’ll be making lots of trips there to soak up the culture and shovel in the food.  As some of you know, Alex and I tried Ethiopian food years ago in Georgetown and it was terrible!  I love almost every kind of food on the planet, so I’ve just been sick about it (both literally for 24 hours after and figuratively).  I’ve been praying for God to allow me to love it, because both Ethiopia and food are such huge parts of my family.  Anyway, one bite at Queen of Sheba last week and we realized that Ethiopian food is DELICIOUS!  Our first experience in Georgetown must’ve just been BAD Ethiopian food, just like I’ve had bad American food.  Queen of Sheba was good, good, good, oh so good, and Elliott adored it, too, rising on his knees over the big family-style plate and scooping up the food with injera.

Okay, that’s enough anticipation for one post.  And just typing it all out has elevated me from my waiting funk and reminded me of what’s to come.  I also want to balance all the things to come with the things of NOW, because I don’t want to live in the future.  The now is good and is not to be wasted.  The now is digging into God, spending time with friends, kissing my husband, building really tall Lego towers with Elliott, helping unite sponsors with kids in Adacar, wearing my cute Sseko sandals (maybe the one benefit of summer weather in Georgia), and spending precious minutes with my parents.  Two of my close friends lost their parents last week, and I’m reminded that life is fleeting, there are no guarantees, and I want to enjoy every minute.  So, this post is kind of rambly, but I think I just blogged myself into a really hopeful and positive mood.

Alex’s parents have been visiting us.  Yesterday, on their last night, we made the Columbia Restaurant’s signature salad, piled into the golf cart, picked up pizza, and met my parents over at Lake Peachtree, where we ate pizza and salad, played with Elliott at the park, and watched the sun go down over the water.  It was perfect. 

After dinner, I excitedly presented our moms with the “Love Goes Around” necklaces from JunkPosse, an early Mother’s Day since we’ll be in Africa.  As I was explaining how these necklaces help support and restore victims of sex trafficking, my sweet hubby pulls out a third white, heart-shaped box.  For me?  He gave me the JunkPosse “Heart for Africa” necklace!  Oh, how I wanted it so much.  And now, wherever I go, everyone will see how much I love Africa.  And my husband!  Happy Mother’s Day to me! 

After we all put on our new necklaces, we wandered over to the park, and as Elliott was playing, the ice cream truck pulled up.  As he slurped on his bubblegum-flavored popsicle, our parents spend time praying over us on our trip.  Wow.  I’ll never get over the incredible gift of having two sets of parents who like each other and have a common bond in Christ.  Elliott smeared blue and pink all over his mouth and peered up at us all bowing in prayer (Um, yeah, I peeked.).  I love that he has a mom, dad, two grandmothers, and two grandfathers who all pray together!  Our sweet moms are going to call each other each morning at 6:30am to pray for us while we’re on the trip.  Grateful.

I’m so excited for Slash to come into this family!  People keep asking, “Have you heard anything?”  “It’s getting close, isn’t it?”  No and no.  It’s discouraging, but this morning God reminded me that Slash will become part of our family at the perfect time, God’s time.  Waiting is full of all kinds of argh, but God has a lot for me to do while I wait. 

While I wait, I get to dress up in funny costumes with Elliott and march around banging on drums.

While I wait, I need to kiss the top of Elliott’s head about 150 times a day.

While I wait, I have about 300 orphans to hug in Uganda.

While I wait, I have about 260 orphans for whom to find sponsors.

While I wait, I want to get deeper into Scripture and fall more and more in love with Him.

While I wait, I get to graduate up to high school with my big 8th graders.

While I wait, I need to help abolish the sex trade.

While I wait, I need to see Adecar’s kitchen built and work on the next steps of the community development plan.

While I wait, I get to help my church embrace Africa and orphans.

While I wait, I have blogs to write and friends to encourage and brand-new high school girls to text and a husband to kiss and a 3-year-old with whom to work in the garden.  I have sweet tea to brew and bread to bake and loads of cuddling to do with Spike the dog.  So, I’m thinking maybe a healthy mix of saving the world, time with family, and nervous breakdowns at the feet of God.

At this moment while I type, a young girl is being prepared for sexual slavery.  Her entire world is about to shatter.  At this moment, evil people are exchanging money.  Someone is preparing to defile her, to rob her innocence, and break her spirit.  She will never be the same.  At this moment. 

What if she was your daughter?  What is she was my daughter?  To what lengths would I go to find her?  To stop them?  How many people would I beg for justice?  How many calls would I make?  On how many doors would I bang until my knuckles bled? 

Nothing would stop me.  Nothing would silence me.  I would search for her, cry out for her, claw at anyone who stood in my way.  Until I collapsed, I would not stop seeking her, saving her, pouring myself out for her.

The little girl being broken as I type is terrified.  Alone.  Friendless.  Hopeless.  She’s not my daughter.  But she’s God’s daughter.  He loves her fiercely.  And He’s commissioned you and me to save her. 

In the time it’s taken me to write this post, several other young girls have lost their innocence.  Several other evil people have had their way.  Every 2 minutes a child is being prepared for sexual exploitation, and 2 children are sold every minute.  What would I want others to do if this was my child?  What does God want me to do for His child?

I am shattered for these children as the world looks the other way.  That’s a good place to start – total brokenness.  Now where to go from here?  Some friends of ours who we love and respect work with Love146, an organization committed to eradicating child trafficking.  Also, Tom Davis’ new fiction book, Priceless (available on Amazon for pre-order), handles this issue and Children’s HopeChest has an ever-expanding ministry to protect young girls from falling victim to trafficking.

Don’t do nothing.  How’s that for a double negative?  DON’T DO NOTHING!  We’ve done enough of nothing.  That’s why this despicable industry exists.  It’s overwhelming.  For me, too.  Start today with spending 5 minutes praying.  Just ask God, “What can I do?”  Visit a website.  I think the first thing we all have to get over is the instinct to cringe, squeeze our eyes shut, and put our fingers in our ears.  As I type this, I’m staring at pictures of my middle school girls.  Laughing, happy, innocent, beautiful.  What if it was one of them?  What if it was my daughter?  Or my son?  Let’s open our eyes, absorb the pain, and trust God to lead us into action for this precious kids.

I’ve been a terrible blogger lately.  I have so much going on in my head and I can’t figure out what, if anything, to write about.  One huge theme right now is God very clearly reminding me that I don’t need to try to make Him attractive to people.  He doesn’t need an advance team.  He doesn’t need me to pull out my very best “relevant Christian” act.  He’s God!  He draws people to Himself because He is love and He is what we need.  I cannot make Him look cool.

You know those families with all the good kids that love the Lord?  You know, the families where everyone goes, “What are they doing right and how do I learn how to do that, too?”  Recently I visited one of those families.  Elliott’s babysitter, an incredible girl who loves the Lord with her whole heart, was in a terrible golf carting accident that nearly took her life.  We went over to visit with her.  Elliott and I pulled up to her curb in our golf cart.  We saw high school guys and girls playing soccer on the front lawn.  More kids hanging out in front of the garage.  We walked inside, more teenagers.  Our sweet babysitter was lying on the couch talking with more friends.  Everywhere I looked, I saw Bible verses.  Her dad immediately started playing with Elliott and showing him all the musical instruments in the house.  As I spoke with our sitter, I heard the piano, the drum set, and a guitar, all playing worship music.  I found Elliott sitting at the drum set, having the time of his life, and the dad taking pictures of him telling me how gifted my son is.  The mom walked over to me and just breathed life into me about Elliott’s speech delays, and shared her wisdom on decisions about preschool.  These parents had almost lost one of their children the day before, yet they took the time to encourage me, a young mom, and show my son attention and love.  I was blown away.  They were so present in that home.  Not on the phone.  Not working around the house.  They were present and invested in the young lives around them.  They have so much love for Christ that it spilled out onto the kids in the house.  I didn’t want to leave.  I felt so accepted and…full of joy.  No one was watching TV.  No one was playing video games.  They don’t have a fancy house filled with the latest gadgetry.  Their home is filled with the love of Christ and relationships.

So often I’ve fallen for the lie that we as parents need to create an exciting house that will lure kids to want to hang out in it.  And the lie that we as student ministry leaders need to create an over-the-top, mind-blowing experience to lure kids to love Christ.  Movies, gaming systems, prizes, me out of the way enough so as not to scare them off.  I’m not buying it anymore.  Literally, I’m not BUYING it.  No more buying things in order to sell Christ.  I think if we can work on loving Christ and really digging into Him, soaking up His love for us, then His love will exude out of us and THAT will make us attractive to our kids and their friends. 

I found further confirmation for this realization over the weekend at a retreat with my 8th grade girls.  On Saturday night, we took turns going around the circle and telling each other what we love about each other.  It was one of the girls’ ideas.  I thought, sure, this’ll be a fun little half-hour exercise.  It took us 2-3 hours.  We didn’t finish till after 1am.  There we were, sitting in someone’s gorgeous home theater with a screen the size of the whole wall, and it wasn’t on.  No one was texting.  We just sat and spoke love to one another.  We laughed hysterically and we cried with overwhelming joy.  And when it was my turn, I had the privilege of hearing what I was doing right – being myself, loving them, glowing when I see them…you get the idea.  Relationships.  Not stuff.  Such a good lesson.  I’m learning it as a youth leader and as a parent, and I hope as Elliott gets older that I get it right.  I certainly have some good role models.

Alex and I have been middle school small group leaders for the last two and a half years.  I lead the girls, and Alex gets pummeled by the boys each week.  In sixth grade, these girls taught me how to text, how to play Guitar Hero, we went shopping, and we road tripped to Tennessee to go spelunking (What were their parents thinking?!?).  In seventh grade, seeing them was a highlight of my week, I started having them over for dinner on Wednesday nights, I judged a sychronized swimming contest at the aquatic center, and we screamed worship songs together in the church sanctuary.  Now they’re in eighth grade, most of them are taller than I am, we sold concessions to raise money for Children’s HopeChest, and I consider them part of my family.  I love watching these girls grow up, listening to them wrestle with decisions, rejoicing in their triumphs, and challenging their thinking.  I’m not one of them, I’m not one of their parents, but in some way they feel like mine.  My girls.

And Alex has had his own incredible experience with his boys that I can’t begin to describe, because to me, it sounds like a lot of wrestling and paintballing, but to him, it’s connecting and growing.  I love watching my husband with his boys.  His boys.

So then one day about a month ago, I see a boy’s face on my computer screen.  He’s about twelve.  He could be one of our middle schoolers.  He could sing “Inside Out” at the top of his lungs at Wired on Wednesday nights.  He could tackle Alex in the church lobby and rock out to “Livin’ on a Prayer” on Guitar Hero.  Except that he can’t.  He lives in Uganda and has a cut on his leg that’s gotten infected and now threatens his life.  I see his face, and then my eyes slide to his leg, and all I can think is “Why?”  Why is that his life and this is our life?

When I think about the problem – the atrocity – of extreme poverty, it feels unsolvable.  Too big, too late, too much, too painful, too bad.  What I do doesn’t matter, right?  Mmm.

It sure matters to Bosco.  What I can do matters to this boy who doesn’t live here.  He lives there, and he needs ME.  And he needs me NOW.  My stopping to mull it over, back burner it, compare it to the hundred other opportunities to give would sentence him to death.  He could not survive my putting him on hold.

Bosco desperately needed money to have his leg amputated to save his life.  We got involved, and throughout our iFast58 Wednesday, we watched as God brought in the amount needed, with enough extra to feed his family and help with his recovery.  An iFast58 miracle.  What an incredible day to watch God move through people to save this one special boy.  About a week later, we found out that he’s in the hospital on antibiotics and the doctors think that they may be able to save his leg.  Our God is so good. 

I don’t know why, but I love this boy.  And today my friends found his sponsorship packet and let me have him.  Alex and I get to sponsor this boy.  I wish that he could sit on a beanbag chair in Alex’s small group room and talk about God’s love, but now Alex can email him all about it.  I wish that I could cook him macaroni and cheese on Wednesday nights, but now I know that our monthly sponsorship is getting him the food he needs.  I wish that Alex could teach him Guitar Hero, but now an educator can teach him to read.  I wish that I could hug him right now, but now I can hug him this spring when we visit Uganda.

Hey, Bosco.  Welcome to the family.  It’s big.  We’ve got a mommy, a daddy, a toddler, a baby somewhere in Ethiopia, a Yorkie, and about thirty eighth graders who want to be your friends.